I would of had more of a transition to the little girl realizing her grandma had died. She just seemed to know and even though it is a dream, there is occasionally a touch of reality.
The video captured the emotion of sadness, then happiness when the girl realizes it's a dream. It was well made. The only thing wrong was the music was much louder than the talking.
Maybe a little too quick on the "death" and realization at the beginning I would say that a little more build up could have helped, though once it starts the music works well with the memory montage and the alarm clock transition brings everything to light quite quickly.
Your audio could use just a simple tuning in how you have it paced with your images, and perhaps less closing-in shots from the camera, replaced with a series of still shots from different perspectives. The content was excellent and you had plenty to work with from the shots you had. This was perhaps the most story driven video of all that I have seen, great job man.
I like the seriousness of your video. I think we can all relate to the fear we have losing someone and the relief we feel knowing they are still with us.
There is some good camera movement here, but sometimes a little too shaky. You focus on the action and images that serve the purpose of the story. The audio clipped at one point, and the ending was a little abrupt, but it was a pretty good story!
Great concept. Loved the edits to the shots of the clock. The only thing I would say to fix the audio levels or just turn down the audio clip to match the audio from the girl talking.
I like the plot progression through the dream. it was full of feels. For a moment there I didn't think it would have a happy ending, I'm so glad that it did. When the music first came in you about blew my ear drums, but other than that, I have no complaints.
I don't think we need to see the girl falling asleep at the beginning. Have her walk in, call to grandma and realize she's dead. You have good ideas about shots that you need but you need to cut the camera, reframe, stabilize and shoot and then repeat rather than panning, tilting and zooming in-camera constantly. It calls too much attention to the camera work and it looks amateur-ish. The photos are a good idea but make sure they all say something about the girl and her relationship to grandma, Excellent matching action cuts when grandma comes through the door. The end scene needs to be tightened up. There is too much time on the clock and not enough time with the girl and grandma. This is a moment of relief for the girl and the audience. Let us experience it with her. Watch you audio meters when you edit. Never let the bars hit the red like you did with the song. The result is clipping and distortion.
the build up to the alarm clock was a really nice touch
ReplyDeleteI would of had more of a transition to the little girl realizing her grandma had died. She just seemed to know and even though it is a dream, there is occasionally a touch of reality.
ReplyDeleteGreat structure of the video progressing through the dream.
ReplyDeleteNice video, really liked the way you used the clock and the pictures showing timing and memories at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThe video captured the emotion of sadness, then happiness when the girl realizes it's a dream. It was well made. The only thing wrong was the music was much louder than the talking.
ReplyDeleteI like the photo montage representing the good memories and the flashing back to there clock, counting down the internal alarm clock.
ReplyDeleteMaybe a little too quick on the "death" and realization at the beginning I would say that a little more build up could have helped, though once it starts the music works well with the memory montage and the alarm clock transition brings everything to light quite quickly.
ReplyDeleteYour audio could use just a simple tuning in how you have it paced with your images, and perhaps less closing-in shots from the camera, replaced with a series of still shots from different perspectives. The content was excellent and you had plenty to work with from the shots you had. This was perhaps the most story driven video of all that I have seen, great job man.
ReplyDeleteI like the seriousness of your video. I think we can all relate to the fear we have losing someone and the relief we feel knowing they are still with us.
ReplyDeleteThere is some good camera movement here, but sometimes a little too shaky. You focus on the action and images that serve the purpose of the story. The audio clipped at one point, and the ending was a little abrupt, but it was a pretty good story!
ReplyDeleteGreat concept. Loved the edits to the shots of the clock. The only thing I would say to fix the audio levels or just turn down the audio clip to match the audio from the girl talking.
ReplyDeleteI like the plot progression through the dream. it was full of feels. For a moment there I didn't think it would have a happy ending, I'm so glad that it did. When the music first came in you about blew my ear drums, but other than that, I have no complaints.
ReplyDeleteI don't think we need to see the girl falling asleep at the beginning. Have her walk in, call to grandma and realize she's dead. You have good ideas about shots that you need but you need to cut the camera, reframe, stabilize and shoot and then repeat rather than panning, tilting and zooming in-camera constantly. It calls too much attention to the camera work and it looks amateur-ish. The photos are a good idea but make sure they all say something about the girl and her relationship to grandma, Excellent matching action cuts when grandma comes through the door. The end scene needs to be tightened up. There is too much time on the clock and not enough time with the girl and grandma. This is a moment of relief for the girl and the audience. Let us experience it with her. Watch you audio meters when you edit. Never let the bars hit the red like you did with the song. The result is clipping and distortion.
ReplyDelete